The big question – what does fashion mean to you?

In the past two months, we covered some important topics – trends, first impressions, stereotypes, controversial opinions & the power of disguise. But none of my articles had yet asked the most crucial question of them all: what does fashion mean to you? In my last Instagram reel, I asked people around campus to tell me about the extent of involvement of fashion in their lives; do they consider it an art form, a hobby, is being ‘fashionable’ even accessible to everyone? As this is my last Dima’s Hot Takes article, I decided to give some insight into my own thoughts & ask myself the same question. That way I can pay a little homage to fashion for being the inspiration behind my column.

To be able to understand what fashion really means to me, I first had to conduct some research. My starting point was trying to understand what the widely accepted meaning of the word is. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, the definition of fashion is ‘a style that is popular at a particular time, especially in clothes, hair, make-up, etc.’. The description provided isn’t sufficient for me, so I decided to inquire AI on what fashion is – ‘Fashion is a form of self-expression and autonomy at a particular period and place, encompassing clothing, footwear, lifestyle, accessories, makeup, hairstyle, and body posture. The term implies a look defined by the fashion industry as that which is trending. Everything that is considered fashion is available and popularized by the fashion system’. Keeping those definitions in mind, I realized that words such as ‘fashion’ are so broad and hard to define, holding a different meaning to everyone, that doing research on it would lead me nowhere. Here is where my inner research began. So, I decided to start at the very beginning, chronologically arranging my life and its connection to fashion. Here is Dima’s life in fashion:

0-8 years – Mom’s the word

Scarcely remembering my childhood, I have some flashbacks on being in a clothing store with my mom, and wanting specific t-shirts, of course going for the sequins, glitter & animal prints. When she would tell me those are not practical (breaking my heart), because the glitter would get everywhere, I remember being so upset, wishing I could be a grown-up, that can dress as they please. When in fact, I didn’t know how I wanted to dress. My cousins would be my biggest role models – if they had strands of sparkling hair attached at a family event, that’s exactly how I wanted to look too. If their favorite color was red – mine was too. If they wore Converse, I had to do the same.

I remember wishing for autonomy so hard, yet I didn’t know what to do with it if I got it. Looking back at childhood photos of myself, I judge my mom for cutting bangs on me, making me wear tank tops on top of t-shirts, and buying me a neck phone case that I had to carry everywhere. In retrospect, did I really care? If my outfit was comfortable enough for me to climb a tree and go down a slide, I didn’t really mind. Well, not then at least.

8-13 – Freedom, but at what cost

This is the age timeframe, where I slowly started realizing that fashion is a thing. The transition between dressing with what felt most comfortable and had my favorite color on it, to going down a DIY rabbit hole on Youtube was intense. This is the life period that has created the most iconic outfits I think I would ever put together in my life. From wearing the same button-up almost every day, because I thought I looked extremely cool, to cutting up my jeans and thinking I am the queen of arts and crafts, I am so glad that it’s over. For two years straight, the only hairstyle I would wear was a low ponytail, with two random strands awkwardly hanging in the front, because how else would I manage having curly hair? Mousse & gel, we haven’t heard of them… Having different features than your mom is confusing, she can’t give you tips and tricks – and your dad, well, he’s a man.

The only jeans I would wear were ripped from top to bottom, my grandma would ask me with such sincerity if she wanted me to use tape to fix them for me. Half my t-shirts were unevenly cut up, after following an online tutorial on how to look better for school. Thankfully, my middle school had a dress code – we were allowed to wear only our uniforms, which still gave us SOME freedom, like choosing whether to wear a vest with a skirt, or a shirt with jeans. Of course, the male colors were blue and the female, – pink. My way of expressing my independence was to wear whatever I want and just put a vest over it – that way I could still be extremely cool (…), yet not get suspended. I think that schools which implement uniforms in their curriculum should be applauded, if of course the clothes are actually good quality and look decent. Removing the social class status for students, when it comes to fashion in those development years is something very valuable to a child. Even though we would protest against it all the time, at least the biggest worry on our minds was that we had to conform to rules, rather than trying to live up to our classmate who just went on a shopping spree in Germany.

13-18 – High school oppression

This is the time when you realize that other people actually perceive you. If you wear this – you are bullied, if you wear that – you belong. Once again, your autonomy is stripped off, and you have the feeling that you have regressed to being a child, your mom narrating your outfit. From shoplifting at H&M (I have sinned) to spending every after-school moment at a shopping mall, I have had my fair share of fashion dilemmas in that age timeframe. When I discovered brands are worn to portray a social status, I never looked back. The money I was supposed to use to get lunch would be saved for the end of the week, so me and my friends could go and buy the cheapest Tommy Hilfiger shirt we could find at Peek & Cloppenburg. And of course, the one with the biggest logo. Why would I spend my money on a ‘luxury’ item, if people couldn’t see it was one? During that time, fashion became something tedious, something that gave me anxiety. Instead of treating it as a creative hobby, or a form of self-expression, I narrated my outfits according to how many logos are on my clothes. Nothing gave me more joy than being a 15-year-old in an expensive store, where the staff would size you up and down (understandably so), only for me to show them what a grown-up I am, because I bought the cheapest item available.

This was also the time that I started realizing hair & makeup are a part of your physical appearance. Having curly hair was such a hassle for my young self, not knowing how to manage it, how to style it. All around me, on social media – everyone had their hair straight. So the only logical conclusion to a teenager with the one and only goal to belong and blend in was to use a straightening iron religiously. On the other hand, wearing no make-up was a no-go, but wearing too much make-up was also not accepted. That’s when I learned that a girl’s looks will never be satisfactory for others – you will be scrutinized no matter what. Furthermore, being 15 and wearing a backpack to school as a girl was unacceptable – we had to have a purse, otherwise, the social guillotine would follow.

In the latter years of my high school fashion experience, I stopped caring that much what my schoolmates had to say and finally thought that I am going to authentically express myself through my style. Which… wasn’t the truth. At the time, my fashion sense would consist of what my partner would like me in. If he was into preppy girls, I would dress preppy, streetwear – just say the word. It was very important for me to be able to fit into a fashion category, to be able to find people who are ‘likeminded’ and have the same interests as me.

P.S. My fashion sense never really represented my interests

18-21 – Welcoming independence

Arriving to the present times. Multi-cultural experiences, travel, studying abroad. Finally living away from home, welcoming creative independence. Not that I was ever really restrained from looking however I wanted, I just lived up to an expectation. Expectations from my parents, my classmates, partners… Here, I could re-invent myself. I had the blank ground of being who I want to be, look how I want to look, without people being able to compare me to anything I was before. Since arriving to the Netherlands, I have gotten dozens of comments on people’s first physical impressions of me – I was blonde, pretty sure I wore AF1’s religiously and would usually wear outfits that I thought wouldn’t stand out, but would make me seem put together. Going by that description you can guess what people thought of me when they first met me – that I was a b*tch. Oh, and especially basic. That word is engraved in my mind so deeply, being used with a negative connotation to it. Who even narrates what basic means?

Anyways, moving on. Welcome the TikTok microtrends! The transition from dressing up safely, but still integrating my personal twist to it, to getting sucked up by the constant trends on social media consumes me. From Y2K to ‘clean girl’, to ‘cottage core’, I can always find pieces, shapes and matches that I like. One day I want to be dressed in black from head to toe, wishing I had more tattoos, the next I want to put on my beige attire, with my flare leggings, and go flower picking in the woods.

Present day me has a constant battle in her head as to how she is supposed to look, or dress, or what she should like and devote to. What I have learned is that you should buy basics, and start matching them up with different accessories and statement pieces. That way, your wardrobe can be sustainable for the future years. I am lucky enough that I refrain from excessive trend-hopping, and do put thought in what I would really like a year from now. If other people could describe my fashion sense, I think they would have a difficult time pinpointing it.

I just do whatever at any given day, if the Dutch weather allows me to, of course!

FIN.

Writing this, I reached an interesting conclusion. Throughout my whole life, up until very recently, fashion to me has been only about belonging. Belonging at home, at school, in relationships, with friends, at clubs and parties, & at work. No matter where I have been in life, my goal has been to not raise questions, essentially blend in, while still looking good. I find it disheartening that a tool such as fashion, used for self-expression, encouragement and positivity, has so far only boiled down to being a part of a certain group for me.

So, let me answer the question. What does fashion mean to you?

I am not exactly sure what it means yet. The way I have so far incorporated fashion in my life has been as a tool that gives me a sense of belonging, and often enough – instils confidence. I believe that right now I am only at the beginning of understanding what fashion truly means to me. What I hope is, that a few years from now I can look at this article, and see how much my understanding of fashion has changed.

With that comes the end of Dima’s Hot Takes. I wish to my readers that this little self-reflection moment also gives you a reason to do the same for yourself. Ask the question again – what does fashion really mean to you? Maybe you’ll find out that the answer is very different from the initial one.

Thank you for being on this journey with me, it was a pleasure.

Toodles.