You might have taken the ‘Are you a red flag or a green flag?’ quiz in our newest edition of the HUB magazine. If not, you can still find the magazines laying around all over school! In the magazine you could find out what your red flags were.
Chewing too loud, letting your relationship pay for everything or talking during movies. They can all be considered ‘red flags’. However, these types of red flags are seen as somewhat funny, and the quiz in the magazine is supposed to be satire. These particular red flags don’t need to be an actual dealbreaker in a person, or relationship. People often joke about them. For example, there has been a trending filter on TikTok about red flags, and it's getting a real used term.
However annoying some of these can be, there are also ‘real’ red flags in relationships - Warning signs that keep popping up, and that you should look out for when in a relationship.
But don’t worry, we made a list of REAL red flags to be aware of;
Extreme possessiveness
In most cases it is nice that your partner wants to spend a lot of time with you and wants you for themselves. However, somebody that is extremely possessive of you can be dangerous. They can be controlling and force you into behaving a certain way. If you recognize this behavior in your partner or situationship, it doesn’t have to be an immediate dealbreaker, but it is important to maintain yourself and make your own decisions. If your partners possessiveness goes to the extreme, you could talk about it with them, or you could go to a professional to speak up about these issues.
(Alcohol/drug) Addiction
There’s absolutely no issue with drinking at parties or taking some sort of drug at a festival. As long as it doesn’t go to the extreme. Somebody with an alcohol and/or drug addiction can be very unpredictable. They can have serious mood swings and they could even become violent. If you recognise this in your partner, make sure they get the professional help they need or leave for your own good.
Gaslighting
“Am I the problem?” This is probably something you will keep asking yourself when you’re in a relationship with a ‘gaslighter’. They will keep twisting the truth and, as a result, you will keep doubting yourself. It makes you insecure. Besides, it’s just very toxic behaviour in a relationship. Don’t think that you did something wrong and that’s the reason why your partner is upset or angry with you. Set your own boundaries and believe in yourself.
Commitment issues
If they say they don’t want a relationship, or they’re not ready to commit to you, please stop convincing them (and/or yourself) that they do. You will only end up hurt and heartbroken. This isn’t necessarily a dangerous situation, but if you’re not careful you can hurt yourself. The best thing to do is to just walk away from them. If they’re not ready to commit, then they are just not ready.
(sexual) Abuse
This might be the brightest red flag of them all. Abuse is NEVER okay. In most relationships sex plays a big part. With that said, it always has to be consensual. Even when you let yourself get persuaded into sex, after first saying no, it is in fact sexual abuse. Hurting somebody, physically or emotionally, is both abuse.
It can definitely be hard to leave somebody that you still love, because most abusers seemed like good people at first. They might still act nice and sweet, and then hit you once or twice when they’re angry, but that is NOT okay.
If you recognise this behaviour in your partner, it is wise to leave them and/or find professional help.
If you witnessed, know somebody or experienced sexual abuse, please call; 0900 - 9999 001
in life-threatening situations, always call 112
This article is not written by a professional. If you are or if you know someone who is in a difficult relationship, please seek help of a professional.
