Hello people, it’s your favourite ambivert here again, Iarina from Never Would I Ever, coming at you with a topic very close to my heart- what it’s like to date someone extroverted. More specifically, how I navigated that, how we managed to make a power duo from two personalities who seem counterintuitive and how you can do so too! Let’s dive in! 

The humble beginnings 

Ah, yes, the humble beginnings. I still remember when I was too terrified of walking up to her and saying Hi, or when we actually became friends and very *casually* started flirting with each other. That’s what besties do, right? Well, turns out that not many besties do that, and, in fact, we just had crushes on each other. Baffling, I know. Well, I, for one, was very mind blown that this person who was way too cool for me would give me the time of day, and my world was shaken up.  

Our story as a couple started at the ESN Breda Halloween party in 2022, even though we only started dating a month later, in November 2022. Why, you might ask? The short answer is because  I was terrified of asking her to be my girlfriend. The long answer is that we wanted to take it slow and just needed more time to get to know each other and be sure we were on the same page. And although the “more time” we needed was only one month (basically one year in WLW* years), I believe it made all the difference in the world, as we are still together to this day, yay! 

*WLW – abbreviation for women who love women 🙂 

The thrilling adventures 

As an ambivert, I always felt like I could connect with both introverts and extroverts, leaning more towards introverts. However, I am now dating an adventurous extrovert who loves new experiences, which has broadened my horizons as well. Whenever she has the opportunity to drag me out of the house, she wholeheartedly takes it, and that has created some fun circumstances for both of us.  

For example, one of my favourite memories of us is travelling back to my hometown, Bucharest, where we happened to get a very nice deal at one of the best breweries in town. The deal in question? 11 free beers to split with at least two friends. So, me, my girlfriend and one of my friends went there and absolutely depleted their beer stock, while also making friends with the people sitting at the tables around us. Time flies when you’re having fun, so we ended up going home with the last bus, but things took a funnier turn when she had to guide us to our childhood homes, through an unknown city because my friend and I had one too many... These tiny adventures led to us befriending even more people on the way home, when she sparked conversations with other random travellers.  

Balancing the odds 

The main takeaway from that little story is that the extroverted lifestyle of my girlfriend has also bled into my own. While her idea of a cosy night is a group gathering with all her friends or going out somewhere, I would much rather cosy up in bed and binge-watch my favourite show, however, we learned to combine those to meet both of our needs. From my experience, this balance is the key to a healthy relationship, but also to a healthy lifestyle overall. We influence and ground each other in different ways, meaning that she makes me come out of my shell and I allow her to unwind and quiet down.  

Often, ambiverts and extroverts recharge in quite different ways. So, we needed to think outside the box to close this gap. One of our preferred fixes? Charging in parallel. I could do something relaxing, like reading or working on a project by myself, while my partner arranges to get together with friends. We occasionally engage in "compromise recharging" activities, such as going for a walk or seeing a movie, which provide a shared experience without requiring as much energy as a night out. We now value our time together even more as a result of respecting our various needs. 

Power Couple: The Ultimate Team 

Dating an extrovert has brought so many unexpected strengths into our relationship, helping us both grow in ways we might not have otherwise. My partner is the one who nudges me to step out of my comfort zone and meet new people, while I help her slow down, reflect, and focus on building deeper connections rather than constantly seeking new ones. 

Our different energies really balance each other out—I'm the grounding force, offering stability and reflection, while she brings out my spontaneous, adventurous side. Together, we’ve found a happy medium that lets us face challenges with a mix of excitement and thoughtfulness. In the end, our unique personalities have turned into a real strength, giving us the flexibility and resilience to handle life’s ups and downs as a team. 

If you’re an ambivert dating an extrovert, know that while it might take a little adjusting, the rewards are absolutely worth it. Embrace your unique perspectives, be open to meeting in the middle, and appreciate how your differences can actually bring you closer. Navigating these personality contrasts isn’t just doable—it can be truly empowering. We’re living proof that two very different personalities can come together to create a relationship that’s stronger, more balanced, and deeply fulfilling. 

So, if you’re dating an extrovert, trust me—enjoy the journey, learn from one another, and let those differences become the foundation of a relationship that truly thrives.