On Sunday the 20th of October Dutch singer and rapper Stien den Hollander, known as S10, debuted her theatre show Groeipijn, directly translated to Growing Pains, in Chassé in Breda. Set in the smallest hall of the venue, it was an intimate try-out show leading to an impressive run in big theatres such as Koninklijk Theater Carré in Amsterdam. As a fan and a frequent visitor of her shows, I was excited to visit the first finalized performance of what was described to be the beginning of a new step in her career, delving into the hopeful tones of her newer music, but also exploring the deeply complex and dark layers of her past through her old music. When I found myself in tears while calling my mom to let her know I would be taking the next train home after the show, I realized just how powerful the intricate vulnerability of S10 really was and how perfectly the show captured this usually fleeting feeling.

As previously mentioned, I have visited a variety of the young Dutch singer’s shows. To me, it is no secret that the otherwise very normal and down to earth freshly 24-year-old is capable of captivating her audience like no other. Contrasting the electronic  studio recordings of her music, her live shows feature a live band that elevates her instrumentals to another level. On top of this, S10 elevates her honest and well-crafted lyrics with small anecdotes that thread her setlist together with different stories every show and pure live vocals that are as impressive as they are fragile in their delivery. It is as if you are sitting with an old friend, someone with a comforting presence and an outpouring amount of gratefulness. This comfort seems to be a byproduct of her 2022 release ‘Ik Besta Zolang Jij Aan Mij Denkt’ (I Exist For As Long As You Think Of Me), but it has not always been this way.

Since before her breakthrough in 2022 with her Eurovision Song Contest entry ‘De Diepte’ (The Depth), S10 has been very open about her turbulent past. As a young teenager she faced serious mental health struggles that left her an inpatient in a psych ward. This experience and its consequences were the source of much of her older music. From 2022 through 2023 the singer claimed she would much rather let the past be just that and not revisit her old discography. However, after she released her own documentary about revisiting this era of her life as a successful adult away from Dutch mental health care, she announced that she would be doing a theatre tour in which she would feature these old songs.

Sitting down in a dark theatre, only a mere meter away from the mic stand, I realized how different the feeling of the show would be. It provided a stark contrast to her summer tour that was held in open air theatres across the country. The breezy and light atmosphere no longer there, only curiosity and intrigue remaining. Surrounded by darkness and the loud thuds of a heartbeat, the singer stands on the back of the stage in a long white dress, her signature long blonde hair, now a little shorter, falling in front of her face. As the show opens, she starts off with a few of her more recent releases, she shyly greets the audience before requesting we do not take any pictures or videos during the show, she admits she is nervous. After this, it does not take long for her older material to take the stage; for the first time her darkest songs are performed in a professional venue.

There is a sense of hesitation before she speaks to the audience again, a few more songs from her junior album further into the setlist. These same nerves take over when she announces she is doing something she has never done on stage before: play the guitar. After her acoustic rendition of Vleugels (Wings), the audience breaks into a big applause and there is an endearing smirk on my face that I cannot hide. It was in this moment that I was taken over by a sense of pride, this was amplified when S10 looked at me and gave me a shy smile nodding at me before gazing into the crowd. The rest of the show was just as captivating, beautiful instrumentals and some really nifty covers of older folk songs give the show a unique edge. The show closes with a perfect Dutch rendition of A Perfect Day to Chase Tornadoes by Jim White, but not before the singer shares how White had acknowledged her cover on his Facebook page. He posted about how her rendition of his song has brought a song he wrote as a final goodbye to this earth to be a hopeful and tender song about the celebration of life. While talking about this post, tears start swelling in her eyes and I can feel myself tearing up too. The show closes and one final comforting look of recognition from the singer sends me over the edge, I am suddenly so overcome by the purity and vulnerability of the show that I break down in tears on the phone with my mom after exiting the hall.

In a world where everything is automated, fully rendered and perfected before it is shown to the public, these tender music shows can mean the world to an audience. The vulnerability of an artist creates such an impact on audiences and these smaller shows may have more impact than any big arena show ever will. Keep spreading your horizons and visit your local music venues. Want to check out Groeipijn? S10 will be touring the country up until December, get your tickets through the link below!

https://www.ticketmaster.nl/artist/s10-tickets/1009125

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