The weekend is near and your agenda is still empty, your friends are busy and that cute person that you’ve been crushing over still hasn’t responded. You lay in bed and wonder about all the fun things you could be doing. ‘If only I was dating someone, we could go on so many fun dates. Sure, but why wait? Why not date yourself? Even if you are in a relationship, going on dates alone and staying in touch with yourself will make your relationship stronger. Self-love is underestimated but so important. And the best thing about it; you are always around.
I know it is easier said than done, going on a date with yourself. You really have to get out of your comfort zone and that can be very scary at times. To help you on your way, we've put together some steps that answer the first question that comes to mind with this, where do you even start?
Step 1: Choose an activity
Doing something by yourself can be difficult at first, but believe me, practice makes perfect! To make it easier; do something you’ve already done with others before, like shopping or getting a coffee. It might just slightly be out of your comfort zone when doing it alone, but you know how it works and it will make things much easier.
Step 2: Make the commitment to yourself
Look in your calendar for some free time, it can be any moment varying from 30 minutes to a whole day, did you find it? Great. Now put the date into your calendar and hold yourself accountable. Don’t ghost yourself!
Step 3: Make it special
Get ready and make yourself feel good, whether you do that by putting on nice clothes, fixing your hair, or spraying on some perfume. Treat the date just like you would if it were with anyone else.
Step 4: Do not overthink
When I started going on little dates alone, my number 1 concern was; ‘People probably think I don’t have any friends for doing this alone’. Now I realize how unnecessary that thought is. Think about it like this; if you see someone doing something alone, do you shame them? No, as a matter of fact, you most likely do not even notice them. Live your life, just like everyone else lives theirs.
We don’t want to hear any excuses like; ‘I won’t go on a date with myself, because I don’t know what to do’. In order to eliminate these excuses, I have made a list of 10 enjoyable solo date ideas.
- Visit a museum
As students we get discounts for most museums, some are even free! In Breda we have a ‘Bierreclame’ (beer advertisement) museum which is free for every visitor. No reason to not go out and explore some art and culture. Let’s be honest, walking around a museum alone is the ultimate main character move. - Go see a movie at the cinema
Get out of your comfort zone and upgrade from your living room to the cinema and watch that movie you’ve been dying to see. - Treat yourself to a nice meal/drink
This doesn’t necessarily have to be a 5-course fancy meal (though it can be if you want too of course). You could find a cute café for a nice lunch or it can be as simple as getting a delicious coffee to go. My personal go to coffee shops are ‘Sip First’ and ‘CoffeeLab’. - Go shopping
Shopping alone is the best! You get to go to all the stores YOU want and skip the others. You won’t have to stand in line at the cash register if you haven’t found anything you like and you won’t have to wait in the fitting room, giving your opinion about the 8 different jeans your friend might want to buy. It honestly saves so much time. - Go out on a walk
You probably walk all the time; to school, to the bus, to the supermarket. I don’t mean that kind of walking. Take some time out of your day, whether it is 10 or 50 minutes. Go out for a walk, preferably with no destination. You could listen to a podcast in the meantime or just embrace the thoughts in your head and the sounds around you. - Bake something nice for yourself
Who doesn’t like cookies? Or a fresh cake for that matter? You could of course get store bought sweets, but something made with love is so much better. And don’t forget the delicious smell in your house. - Change up your space and make it feel more you
Cleaning and redecorating can be such boring and mundane tasks. Don’t be fooled, it can be so much fun too. Search for a good playlist and turn up the music. Redoing your bedroom, even if it’s just hanging up new pictures or turning your bed to the other side, can feel so exciting and fresh. - Self-care evening
Have a little self-care evening with yourself, this doesn’t require much work and it can look however you want it to look. Just do it with intention. Treat yourself to a nice facemask and some hot chocolate. Or dim the lights and binge-watch your favorite series. So many possibilities. - Explore another city
Breda is beautiful, just like many other cities in the Netherlands. Take the train and explore one of the many wonderful cities. It almost feels like you are on a holiday! My favorite cities to explore on my own are Utrecht and Maastricht. - Arts and crafts
Be creative and get your arts supplies. Make a nice painting out of a good memory or make that scrapbook you have been talking about.
What are you waiting for? Go look in your agenda for a free spot and plan a date for yourself. Have fun!
